Author note: I reserve this blog to post light and geeky things like Python scripts or backyard astronomy. However the Presidential Election of 2016 weighs heavily on my mind. So, hear is a personal story I would like to share with anyone willing to read.
November 9th was a bad day for my wife and I. We woke up to a world of uncertainly unlike any before in our 11 years of being together. It was hard for me to concentrate on anything but my worries. My drive to work was slow and arduous. I will admit I made very little progress, if any, while at work. I felt betrayed by loved ones. I was angry and scared for our future. What will happen to us, to our marriage, to our country, to the world? I feel uncertain, uneasy, and out of control... which led to desperation. A scene is set.
I am a bit of a control freak, according to my wife, so this is a feeling that I cannot and will not stand. Before I get into what actions I took it is important for me to lay the backdrop.
I detest biased reporting and cable news. I will not listen to paid programs that disguise themselves as news sources when all they do is regurgitate personal opinions and force their beliefs on to an unsuspecting or willfully ignorant audience. Talking heads such as Rush Limbaugh and Keith Olbermann (among many others) are the reasons people are so ill informed and angry. Although there is a right to free speech, I believe these people are doing more of a disservice to listeners than good.
I digress, I try to be a responsible and informed citizen. I believe I found a good middle ground news source. Sirius XM has a station (124) called POTUS which stands for Politics of the United States. My morning drive to work is spent listening to Tim Farley who retrains himself from offering up opinions and will do his best to fact check political guests on his show; both left and right. Any given morning I can expect to hear from the likes of Kellyanne Conway and Boris Epshteyn or John Podesta and Charlie Baker.
My afternoon drive is my favorite time. That is when Steele & Ungar is on POTUS. Mr. Steele is the former chairman of the Republican National Committee and considered a well-respected moderate conservative. His counterpart, Mr. Ungar, is a senior political contributor and also well-respected as a moderate liberal. They discuss issues of the week and do it respectfully. They do not agree on many issues, if any, but they show a willingness to listen, digest, and respond with respect and honesty that is deeply lacking in today’s world. This candor gives listeners insight and offers us a way to form our own opinions. Their treatment of guests and call-ins is something to be admired as well. How many times can a person watch Fox or MSNBC bring on guests, representing the opposition, just to be ridiculed and made to feel inferior or downright wrong? And we wonder why people become bullies.
Okay, moving on to my point. In my hour of desperation and the day after the election I made the decision to call into the show. I did not think there was a shot in Hell that they would receive my one call out of the thousands of others from across the country. But I was determined to get an answer and was willing to remain on hold as long as it took. Luckily they play the show while I’m on hold so I don’t miss any of their discussions. It sure beats elevator music.
After a few minutes I heard a woman say, “What is your name?” It took me a second to realize this was their producer so once I snapped out of shock I responded. “Nicole.” To which she asked, “Where are you from?” “Texas.” “What is your question?” Oh my goodness, this is my chance to get an answer from two people that would know better. Here goes.
“I recently got married to my partner of 11 years. She and I are scared because we live in Texas which would not have allowed this marriage to happen if it weren’t for the Supreme Court decision last year. I want to know, is my fear a logical one. What is the probability that the decision can be reversed? And, what steps would have to be taken in order for that to become a reality?”
She responded, “Okay, can you hold a little while longer?” “Yes, most definitely.”
I held for a few minutes and listened to the show via my sketchy blue tooth connection. My stomach turned. What if they told me it was a strong possibility? What if Mr. Steele goes on about his personal belief on gay marriage? What if they don’t answer? Then it happened, Mr. Ungar pivoted to the topic of Trump and the Supreme Court. What follows is my best interpretation of their response to my questions that night.
Ungar: You know, a lot of people have fears, especially those in the LGBT community. The possibility of Supreme Court decisions being repealed. Specifically the right to marriage and the unconstitutionality of DOMA.Steele: Well, look, the LGBT community should not be too worried about those issues. As far as we know, the Trump Campaign, who received large support from Evangelical voters…Ungar: Well that might be in large part due to his pick for running mate.Steele: Yes, Mike Pence is a religious conservative. But, look, people need to remember that, yes Trump will pick a conservative judge to fill Justice Scalia’s spot, but that doesn’t change the fact that the Supreme Court was already conservative. Remember, Justice Kennedy was appointed by Ronald Reagan and was the swing vote in both of those decisions.Ungar: Yes, but maybe they are concerned because he is, what, 80 years old? Justice Ginsburg is 83 and the other Democratic Justice Breyer is 78 years old. That could be the reason people fear an ultra-conservative Supreme Court in the future.Steele: Yes, however, okay so it is already conservative leaning so Trump's appointment will only replace what was already a conservative spot on the court. Now, if any of the other Justice’s retire or, God forbid, pass away, yes Trump will appoint conservatives. But think about this, the last time a Supreme Court selected to retry a case and reverse the decision was Dred Scott. For good reason, obviously.Ungar: Yes, and if they do revisit a case or reverse it is usually to make it better.Steele: Exactly. So to that point, when it comes to the constitutionality of citizens, they rarely revisit cases to reverse them, especially when it disputes citizen rights.Ungar: Look at the Roe v. Wade decision. That thing was contested…Steele: Still contested.Ungar: Still contested.Steele: After 40 years, that decision stands. Like gay marriage, it is the law of the land.Ungar: The chances are remote.Steele: Look, you know where I stand. I believe in traditional marriage between a man and a woman but that is the law of the land and I must deal with it whether I agree with it or not. Like abortion. I am pro-life, and all the political discourse and campaign promises, and this is coming from me, all the promises are moot. The chances of a reversal of Obergfell v. Hodges, on gay marriage, are as remote as a reversal of Roe v. Wade on abortion. They are the law of the land…Ungar: Despite states attempts to curb and restrict clinics…Steele: They are the law of the land and think about this, a court chooses their cases. Each case has to go through all the levels of court to reach the Supreme Court and with all the cases out there, they will not, you know…Ungar: Do over.Steele: Right. Plus the Trump campaign did not make it their primary goal. Their primary goal is to repeal and replace Obamacare…Ungar: Which is a whole other discussion…
Coming from guys that know politics and, most importantly, the law, I could take this to heart. It was the metaphorical dose of Xanax, or weed, I needed to calm my nerves. I immediately hung up and called my wife to tell her what happened. She couldn’t have said it best, “this is exactly what we needed to hear tonight.” Whatever religious beliefs a person has, I believe there was a higher power that pushed me to call and they answer.
I pray that Justice Ginsburg, Kennedy, and Breyer remain on the court for the next two to four years. I implore, and will hold accountable, any elected official who calls into question the sanctity and validity of our marriage.
The conversation gave me relief. Sitting here now, I admit that the fear still exists like a dark voice in my head. It makes my brain ache, my heart rate rise, and tears well up in my eyes. Who knows how long these fears will last. Regardless, I will try to remember Steele & Ungar’s words each time I feel myself fall back into fear, resentment, and desperation. This, too, shall pass and it is much harder to take rights away than it is to grant them.
“Those who deny freedom to others, deserve it not for themselves.”Abraham Lincoln
“I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.”Thomas Jefferson
“Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom, must, like men, undergo the fatigues of supporting it.”Thomas Paine
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